One step at a time…

Going to the movies on Tuesdays is becoming a habit and a time to laugh, cry and think about life. Usually I like to see a little bit of everything from documentaries to cartoons, but lately I’ve been more into sweet things like romantic comedies. Today it was the turn for Love Happens. I have to confess that I’m not a huge fan of Jennifer Aniston. I think that even when she was great as Rachel in Friends, her movie choices are not the best.

Love happens is o.k. not the best, not the worst. But it definitely moved a lot of things inside me. Why? Because as ironic as it can be, Love happens is all about grief. It describes the stages a person goes through after losing someone and even when you know or have heard about it, I know by experience that living them are hell! You would like to go from the first to the fifth stage in one second but at least for me it took 5 years to get from the denial to the acceptance. But if there’s a bright side to this path it’s that not only I learned a lot and I’m way stronger than before but today I have peace in my heart and I can confirm that there’s always hope.

I think that anyone that looses someone special will follow a pretty similar process as Burke (Aaron Eckhart) did in the movie. He couldn’t get over it because he felt responsible of his wife’s death so he started blaming himself for all the things he could have done different or for the things he didn’t do. It’s like if carrying this imaginary bag with all this blame would make it easier for your heart to heal and of course it doesn’t, it actually makes everything worse. And even when you know it, you cannot drop it! It’s like it’s glued to your hands or at least it’s what you feel or want to think…

Like I said in another post, my father was the most important pillar of my life. He taught me the basic and the important things in life like sharing, loving, believing, dreaming, trusting and caring about the world. He was incredibly loved and admired by the people that surrounded him. He was a dreamer, loved his family, ran marathons, helped people, had a huge faith and the most important thing is that he was a fighter until the end. He got stomach cancer at 59 and tried to stay alive as much as he could, even doctors said he lived extra time. He died one month before turning 61.

Now that I see it, I think I got his activist spirit just that he was more like the silent type. He believed in preaching through example. He would never talk bad about people and one of his favourite quotes was: “If you don’t have anything good to say just don’t open your mouth” (something that I don’t usually do :S). He would not only care for people’s needs but he would actually do something about it. He didn’t have the easiest life but he always saw the bright side. He was a great human being and sometimes I still don’t get why he had such a rough end.

The good news is that five years later, after a long journey and going back and forth in the stages of grief I decided to empty and drop that blame bag. I not only feel lighter, I feel blessed!

Three generations (from left to right): Me (I was probably 2), my father Emilio and my grandfather Luis.

Today I want to honour his memory. Love happens, and it happened to me! I had the BEST father I could ever have had. He was an angel that touched tons of lives and changed them forever. I was lucky enough to meet and enjoy him for 27 years. I’m not going to lie, I miss him every day of my life and even when the pain is not as strong as before, his absence is always there and his advice, love, and presence are always missing.

Emi, I love you, I remember you, I miss you and I know you would say: Negrita pingüina (like he used to call me), never give up! And rest assured that I never will…

Life is short…

I just went to watch The Time Traveler’s Wife, and I have to give it thumbs up! I wasn’t expecting a lot, even when Rachel McAdams usually takes good projects, but it totally surprised me. The story is a good puzzle of events, while the photography, art and sets are well cared of and the most important thing is that it HAS a message. A message that made my hubby and I hug and kiss for 10 minutes nonstop! I think it was the alarm we were supposed to hear at this point in our lives. It reminded us how important it is to just live the moment and don’t magnify things that don’t have a solution or that in some years will not matter. We constantly live thinking about the future and the past and we usually forget how precious the present is when in fact, it is the only thing that we really have.

How many times have you desired to be able to go to the past and act differently or to go to the future and see what will happen if you do one thing or another? I’ve done it more than I should. But as my very good friend Lorraine would say: “Nothing we can do can change the past, but everything we do changes the future”. This movie made me look around and appreciate the many good things that I have and stop from giving so much power to the bad and sometimes not important or nonsense things. I hope this attitude lasts and I don’t get caught in the bad habits!

As a Torontonian it was a double pleasure since it was filmed at some places in Ontario including our city. The story supposedly happens in Chicago so Toronto was perfect for the camouflage. I couldn’t help jump of my seat when I saw Henry and Clare kissing in the park of the gothic St. James Cathedral (just in front of my home and where I always walk my dog)!!! OMG I was really disappointed of having had Eric Bana just steps away from my place and missing him, aaagggrrr! And I’m pretty sure my friend Natalia is going to be as disappointed as me cause there was another scene filmed just outside her High Park apartment.

Of course you can’t forget this is a movie based on a best seller novel so there will be tons of people saying that the book was much better (as it usually is) but hey, if you don’t have the time to read it, I think the movie delivers. And please, don’t go looking for a scientific answer on how a man can travel through time, just expect to flow with a great story of love (and believe me, not a cheesy one!).

A curious fact is that one of the last scenes makes reference to the cover art of one of the most popular editions of the book which features a young girl (visible only from mid-leg down) standing next to a brown pair of loafers in a field. You’ll now when you watch it.

I can only say: Life is short, don’t forget it (me included!). So live, love, laugh and enjoy every single detail like there’s no tomorrow. One second we’re here and the next we could be gone…